According to Oprah (and others), it’s also one of the hardest things to learn.
“One of the hardest things in life to learn is which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn when it comes to success.”
By
For Thrive Global
photo: J. Countess/Getty Images
Success often springs from new: new opportunities, new ideas, new perspectives, new connections, new ventures …
Achieving what you want to achieve often requires embarking on a new journey, bridging the gap from here, where you are today, to there, where you want to someday be.
But sometimes success can come not from adding something new but from eliminating something old.
If you aren’t as successful as you’d like to be — if you aren’t as happy as you’d like to be, since success, however you choose to define it, walks hand in hand with happiness — instead of looking for a new bridge to cross, consider burning a few old ones.
Like these:
1. Worrying about what other people think
Whenever you try something new, whenever you try something other people are afraid to try, they’ll talk about you.
And not in a nice way.
The only way to keep other people from criticizing or judging you is to do only what other people do. But that means you’ll be only as successful as they are.
And only as happy as they are.
Instead of worrying about what people say, be glad they’re saying it — because that means you’re on the right track.
Yours.
2. Worrying about what you have, instead of what you do
Psychologists call it “hedonic adaptation,” a phenomenon in which people quickly push the buzz from a new purchase toward their emotional norm.
That “Wow!” feeling you get when you look at your new house? It goes away really fast. The same is true when you buy a new car, new furniture, or new clothes. Which means you have to buy something else to recapture the “Wow!” feeling.
Which means you’re never satisfied.
Lasting satisfaction comes from doing, not from having. To feel good about yourself, both in the short term and long term, help someone who needs it. It doesn’t have to be someone less fortunate. You can help your employees develop the skills they need to succeed. You can help a friend who’s struggling to achieve a goal.
Knowing you’ve made a difference in another person’s life is a “Wow!” you can repeat endlessly.
And it’s a buzz that will never push back to an emotional norm.
