How can you improve your emotional intelligence? Use these rules to learn how to focus, give better feedback, increase employee engagement, and more.
BY JUSTIN BARISO, AUTHOR, EQ APPLIED@JUSTINJBARISO
For Inc.
Photo: Getty Images
What is emotional intelligence? How can I improve mine?
I’ve dedicated the past several years of my life to helping people answer those questions. The first question is easy: Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions. I like to describe it as making emotions work for you, instead of against you.
The second question is a little more complex … But we can make it simpler by looking at practical “rules” that are easy to remember, and almost as easy to start putting into practice. These aren’t hard-and-fast rules; they’re more like guidelines you can follow to help you keep your emotions in balance, even in difficult situations.
Here are five simple rules of emotional intelligence you can start practicing today. (And if you find value in these five rules, you might be interested in my free seven-day course, which delivers a rule to your inbox each day to teach you how to build emotional intelligence in yourself and your team.)
In an interview, Tom Hanks said that to find focus, he needed to learn how to master saying one very important word: “No.”
This leads us to the “Tom Hanks Rule,” which states:
Every time you say yes to something you don’t really want, you’re actually saying no to the things you do.
It’s important to remember this, because it’s easy to get caught up in the moment. You might get in the habit of saying yes to everyone’s requests. To every interesting project. To every meeting to which you’re invited.
In contrast, when you remember the Tom Hanks Rule, you remind yourself that every decision has consequences, and that there is only a certain amount of hours in the day, days in the week, and weeks in the year.
