By Taly Reich & Alexnder Goldklank Fulmer and Ravi Dhar
for Harvard Business Review
photo: Juan Moyano/Stocksy
Write a List of Pros and Cons
In a series of experiments, the authors find that people are able to overcome their fear of rejection by considering both the pros and cons of what they want. While past research (and intuition) suggest that people approach a prospect if they think about the positives of achieving it, this research shows that considering the negatives as well provides a powerful boost by making the prospect of failing to get it less threatening.
Often in life we reach a crossroads where we risk rejection. We want to ask for a promotion, for example, or negotiate the terms of a new job, or even ask someone out on a date. But sometimes the risk of rejection feels too great, and some people elect to not even try. Instead they let the job opportunity pass by, the date go unmade, the raise unoffered. The impact of this can be staggering; lost opportunities pile up and compound. What if there were a way to make rejection less scary?
